Happiness is Real even when Not Shared

There is a quote by Christopher McCandless that I liked a lot before - “Happiness is only real when shared”.

It is a beautiful romanticized concept of having a witness of your happy life to make it real. And I’m not buying it anymore.

A breathtaking view is not less beautiful because someone else doesn’t look at it with me.

Marathon finish is not a lesser experience if no one noticed me finishing.

Miracle moments with kids are not less precious and fulfilling if no one else is watching them or making photos or videos of us.

I am not less beautiful and radiant if no one saw me today.

And this post is not less important for me if no one ever reads it.

We are giving away so much power to others to justify our own experience and feelings.

The main delusion is that we want to believe that when someone else looks at the same scene or present at the same place we assume that another person sees and experiences the same we do. But that is a wrong assumption. Our perspective of the world, the way we experience life is absolutely subjective. Hence looking at the same thing or being at the same place does not mean that anything is truly shared.

I am myself enough to justify my feelings, emotions, experiences, my existence.

I am a witness of my life. I am the greatest witness of every moment I have.

Moreover there are no words that can objectively describe any of those. Have you ever noticed that the deepest connection and joy of being with is with people with whom you don’t need to explain, and you know that they get you anyway? Those people can be thousands of kilometres away. Sometimes they are strangers just being met. They don’t see what I see, they don’t live the life I live. And still - we feel deeply connected and understood.

By truly witnessing my own life I can connect deeper with others who also fully experience their lives. And we can recognize that in each other. Sometimes one look or a couple of worlds are enough to know “yes, they got me”.

‘Not shared’ doesn’t mean not connected. Doesn’t mean lonely. Doesn’t mean not real.