Time on a Corporate Job: Not Wasted, but Invested

For many years, I have been questioning the choice of a corporate career for myself. There is a constant nudge that tells me that I was (and am) destined for more. More than 9-5. More than being an extremely small part of something huge, where the individual contribution, regardless of how important and impactful, is dissolved. More than constantly fitting performance expectations. More than measuring success by climbing the ladder.

In the summer of 2020, I reached the lowest point. I was opening my laptop in the morning, staring at my screen, unable to work. The level of motivation and energy was zero. I was already tired in the morning from the mere thought that I needed to do something for work. Everything was absolutely meaningless. "What's the point, what am I doing here, why?" - I kept asking myself. Working from home with a lower level of personal connections and the absence of the collective energy that was charging me in the office deepened the crisis.

I was annoyed with myself for being unproductive and late for projects and tasks. As the backlog piled up and things started looking worse and worse, it led to even further procrastination.

It was hard to get out of the vicious circle.

At the same time, reaching the bottom made me slow down and even stop. When I stopped, I noticed a lot.

First, I was not alone in my battle with social isolation at work, low level of energy, and motivation. A lot of people around me were dealing with the same. "It's not just me" became a code phrase in the team I work with to acknowledge and support each other and everyone's individual yet common struggles.

Second, by slowing down at work, I created more space and time for exploring other things: deeper work with a coach, more intentional time with friends, more engagement with kids, and more travel.

Third, while I was less hard on myself, work went on on its own. I was doing things that needed to be done. Nothing major happened with my projects, and they continued to progress. I focused more on team building and university engagement activities, which I loved a lot. I went through interviewer preparation training, which I delayed for months. And… Every other Friday, I was getting my paychecks.

All that made me appreciate the security, stability, and safe environment for development and exploration that a corporate job gives me. After a couple of months of slowing down, I came back to working in full capacity, but this time with a different attitude.

I live in a beautiful place that was out of my dreams before, and I travel a lot. I invest both time and money in my personal growth and development. I have access to lots of amazing resources through my job, from medicine and discounts to education and community. I am paying off my debts and saving for the future while living a comfortable life.

I am still in search of my soul's calling. I don't know where I will be in several years. But I am incredibly grateful for the corporate career that has made all the great things in my life possible now.