Thoughts About Stuff

First time I realized how much stuff I had was when I started packing to move from Russia to the US 5 years ago. I had a hard deadline (airline ticket), and a self-constrained volume of things to take (4 checked bags and 1 carry-on for 3 people, plus bike, stroller, and foldable kids bed).

The 2-bedroom apartment was packed with something accumulated over 10 years of life in Moscow. All should have been either packed or gone. Some things we used, some things we thought we would use one day, and some things we forgot we had at all.

It was really hard to start. I walked around the place and cried from an overwhelm. To get some inspiration I read “The life-changing magic of tidying up” by Marie Kondo. I didn’t care much about ways to fold t-shirts, but her “joy” concept helped a lot to get over my anxiety and start separating things into piles. Little by little I sold everything sellable, getting a few thousands of dollars. Gave away the majority of books, some clothes that were good but didn’t make sense to take to the US. A ton of stuff just went to trash. At that time I thought it was a success, I was very proud of myself. Thinking back about that experience during the following several years, I have a lot to reflect on. The first, and most important, why did I have and store all that stuff at all? Second, I was not being truly honest (even with myself) saying we fit 4 checked bags and 1 carry on. I sent 2 boxes of books by post, got winter clothes and some other not urgent stuff with relatives visiting us during the next several months. And, on top of that, some stuff was still left behind in Moscow. I don’t even remember what was the full list of things, I never came back to pick them up, but one of them was my wedding dress. I didn’t know what to do with it then, and I have no idea where it is now. All in all, I could have done better, for sure.

Since that cross-atlantic move, I moved 7 times within the US (I just counted and I am amazed myself, 7 moves in less than 5 years, with 2 kids!). All of them were much easier than that epic one: I could take more, I had help moving and packing, and - I had less random stuff.

Last summer I had an urge to organize my home. Konmari’s ways to fold clothes were not enough, and I got obsessed with #thehomeedit. Bought a bunch of containers and boxes, labeled spice jars (had to buy special markers for that), bought matching hangers for my closet. Things got more organized, but as you may see, I had to buy more things to get existing things organized. Also, when things are well organized, you may fit even more things in your existing closets and cabinets. Sounds like a trap, huh?

After realizing the vicious circle of buying stuff for organizing - organizing - buying and fitting more stuff - buying stuff for organizing - organizing again…. My path crossed with TheMinimalists ideas and life philosophy. I never got to play their 30-day minimalism game, but inspired by Netflix TV series, I threw away a ton of things anyway. The need to organize decreased tremendously.

I am very far from having only the things that spark joy as per #konmari, or having everything in dedicated boxes and signed with labels as per #thehomeedit, or being a minimalist as #theminimalist.

I love books, plants, I collect pictures and musical instruments, I love dressing up and having a variety of clothes, I love to stock up with food and home essentials “just in case” and not to be worried that I am out of something unexpectedly. I even considered for some time buying a second car for myself (rejected that idea though for the time being).

One thing that I don’t like is being extreme in any of the ideas, even good ones, as taken to the absolute state they can lead to neurosis over boxes, cleaning up, throwing away things, or living unnecessary frugal and ascetic life depriving oneself from many pleasures.

However, my attitude and approach changed a lot over the 5 years since the day I started packing in Moscow. I am getting rid of things easier, truly enjoying all the new things that come to my life, I learned tips and tricks on how to organize things better. I am not buying more hangers or storage containers, but rather using existing ones to fit everything I need, and if closet, shelf, or cabinet space is over - then something should go away.

I always keep in mind that there can be another cross-atlantic move with 4 suitcases and 1 carry-on. And when it comes, - I will be ready.